Books and arts – 29 May 2014
The Spectator
Thursday
Sunday
As it happened: 2014 European election results
Welcome to the Spectator’s liveblog of the European elections results. We’ll bring you results, analysis and political reaction throughout the night. Britain: Ukip has come first with 27 per cent of vote (so far), the Tories did reasonably (on 24 per cent, a whisker from Labour’s 25.4 per cent) and Lib Dems are in free
Friday
The Ukip effect: live local election results
Ukip is celebrating after winning council seats from all three main parties across the country. Nigel Farage’s party has already exceeded its target of 80 gains in the local elections. On a night of upsets, Labour took control of Tory flagship council Hammersmith and Fulham and the Conservatives took Kingston-upon-Thames. But Labour also failed to make
Thursday
Chelsea
‘Have you crawled far?’
Fridge
Breakfast
‘Breakfast in bed… freshly brewed coffee… and the morning-after pill. You really are the perfect boyfriend.’
Train 2
Smell
‘Ah, that new baby smell — I’ve got some Chanel No. 5 here that can sort that out.’
Internet
‘My imaginary friend disagrees.’
Pool 2
Prices
‘He soon tired of the porn. Now he watches property prices going through the roof.’
Regular
‘He’s a regular.’
Insignificant
‘Makes you realise just how small and insignificant you are, doesn’t it?’
Fusion
‘It’s fusion food — they mix cheap ingredients with sky-high prices.’
Legacy: Id 1
‘OK, but for identification purposes a trench coat and rolled-up copy of the Times would have been preferable.’
Wrap
‘I know it’s tempting but can you please stop popping the damn stuff while you’re making it.’
Heart
‘As the plane took off, the transplant surgeon opened the ice box and realised that he’d left his heart in San Francisco.’
Miro
‘Miro, Miro on the wall, who is the wealthiest one of all?’
Housing 2
‘We want to settle down and have a housing crisis together.’
