Coop
‘I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask.’
The Spectator
Thursday
Fish 3
‘I think the fish wants to go out.’
Porn 2
‘Hey, pre-internet porn...how quaint.’
Squatters
‘I’m afraid it’s more bad news regarding your home — you’ve got squatters.’
Bronze
‘The Bronze Age has well and truly arrived.’
Dirty 2
‘Talk dirty to me, Miss Bracewell.’
Disturbing
‘Sir, you’re distracting the other passengers.’
Counsellor
‘Have you tried not watching EastEnders?’
Cowell
Baby Cowell’s first word
Cavemen 3
‘I’ve invented gay marriage.’
Award
‘Pretend to take this from me — we’ll CGI in the actual trophy later’
Suspect
‘We have reason to suspect that you can’t afford to live around here.’
Sundial
Weather 2
Mouse
‘Fiona, we’ve got a Cheshire mouse.’
Why America’s ivory ban won’t help elephants
The Duke of Cambridge deserves credit for bringing his influence to bear on the growing tragedy of the elephant, whose population is being decimated by poaching. But his advisers should have been quicker to dissuade him from one aspect of his campaign: the threat to dispose of his grandmother’s ivory collection. That Africa’s elephant population
Spectator letters: Wind and bias, and the Scots at war
Caution over wind Sir: While the broadcast media have assailed their audiences with simplistic yet blanket coverage of the floods crisis, it behoves Christopher Booker to provide a long overdue critical perspective of the Environmental Agency (‘Sunk!’, 15 February). The two main tenets of his article have been ignored by most, if not all, other journalists.