Pump
‘A stomach pump! Just what I wanted!’
The Spectator
Thursday
Misery
‘What do you want to watch? Fatal Attraction or Misery?’
Haggis
Bubblewrap
‘Plenty of bubble-wrap, elves. People love to pop it…’
Ukip 4
‘Brussels?’
Satnav 4
Argument
‘As you have no close family who’ll be visiting this Christmas, we’ve come to offer you a huge, acrimonious argument if you’d like one.’
Wise
Body
‘You have the body of a teenager — your liver’s shot, and you have a couple of sexually transmitted infections.’
Shepherds
‘It’s a repeat of what we watched last Christmas.’
Tree 2
‘Show it an increased fuel bill and it drops all the green stuff.’
Twurkey
‘Oh no! It’s a twurkey.’
Letters: Jeff Jarvis defends internet companies, Royal Society fellows defend Lord Lawson
A net gain Sir: Jamie Bartlett tries to balance plus and minus, and ends with zero (‘Little Brothers are watching you’, 7 December). But I wonder: why lead with the negative? Yes, data can be misused, marketers and government can misbehave (no — they will). But what are we to do? Block progress? Why don’t
Barometer | 12 December 2013
Whose year is it anyway? Some things which 2014 has been declared to be the year of: — Year of the Horse (China) — International Year of Family Farming (World Rural Forum) — Year of the Brain (European Brain Council) — Year of the Salamander (Partners in Amphibian and Reptile Conservation) — Year of Crystallography
What happened in 2013, from Depardieu’s hug to Sachin’s last bow
January David Cameron, the Prime Minister, said he wanted to ‘negotiate a new settlement with our European partners’, and that before the end of 2017 would ‘give the British people a referendum with a very simple in or out choice’. Gérard Depardieu hugged President Vladimir Putin at the Black Sea resort of Sochi as he
Joy to the world | 12 December 2013
Pessimism sells. It shifts books and newspapers, sends ratings soaring. It fills lecture halls, wins research grants, makes political careers. We are fed this constant diet of doom, predicting anything from meteorological Armageddon to a tyranny of austerity, and so it is little wonder that we tend to miss the bigger story. A cold, dispassionate look
Books and Arts – 12 December 2013
Spectator survey: What would you tell your 14-year-old self?
Joan Bakewell Broadcaster and journalist Those early teenage years are a time of doubt and discovery. Take time to be alone and speak honestly to yourself. Weigh up what you think others — family, friends, teachers — think of you. Then consider what you feel about the world and your place in it. Read the world’s great
Christmas past in Spectator letters
This is a selection of seasonal letters from The Spectator’s 185-year archive, now online at archive.spectator.co.uk. The emblem to the right is by our cartoon editor, Michael Heath. It was his first drawing for the magazine, and appeared in 1959. Spare the turkey Sir: Of the thousands who within the next few days will