Scottish
‘Let’s elope to Gretna Green to separate.’
The Spectator
Thursday
Dementia
‘If I were you I’d forget about it.’
Chickens
‘We’re still looking into it, but we’re pretty sure it stands for “Kind, Friendly, Courteous” chicken farm.’
Smoking 2
‘Hello, we’re trying to find somewhere we can smoke…’
Frackland
‘Henceforth to be known as Frackland...’
Lava
‘Next time they offer us something to make our lives more comfortable, let me do the talking.’
Tweet 5
‘Sweetheart, would you like to tweet grace?’
Elvis
‘It’s the Belmonts. They’ve found a potato from their allotment that looks like Elvis, do we want to go round?’
Sale 2
Galley
‘Since the galley had new Spanish owners, the rhythm of the galley slaves had gone haywire.’
Christmas 2
‘OK. Can we make that the last time you refer to Christmas as “Black Wednesday”?’
Calendar 3
‘You open the door and hundreds of thousands of Bulgarians come flooding through.’
Religious
Letters | 5 December 2013
Climate scientists write… Sir: Lord Lawson has written in his diary (30 November) under the online summary headline ‘my secret showdown with the Royal Society on global warming’, but the reality is rather different. As he is aware, the purpose of the meeting on 19 November was not to put on a public performance, but
Portrait of the week | 5 December 2013
Home George Osborne, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, said that average energy bills would be brought £50 lower through government intervention to reduce the obligation of energy companies to subsidise insulation. The government also said it would cut subsidies for onshore wind turbines and solar energy, and increase those for offshore wind farms. David Cameron,
George Osborne has seen the light on tax cuts. Now he needs to implement some more
George Osborne has not been a complete disappointment as Chancellor. He has, it is depressing to note, ended up giving Britain a leisurely ten years to get back in the black while the national debt soars. He has a worrying enthusiasm for finding new ways of hawking underpriced debt to business and homebuyers. But the
Barometer: Who snorts more cocaine — the rich or the poor?
The darkest day Several people were injured on ‘Black Friday’, a day of retail discounting imported from the US, where the fourth Thursday of November is the Thanksgiving holiday and many shops hold one-day sales the following day. There are at least 23 historic events named ‘Black Friday’, from the imprisonment of seven bishops by
Books and Arts – 5 December 2013
David Cameron and Ed Miliband pay tribute to Nelson Mandela
Downing Street has released the following statement from David Cameron: ‘A great light has gone out in the world. Nelson Mandela was a towering figure in our time; a legend in life and now in death – a true global hero. Across the country he loved they will be mourning a man who was the
