doors
‘Lock the doors!’
The Spectator
Thursday
Mountain
‘I’d like to book a mountain rescue team for 8pm’
Sink
‘I’d like to book a mountain rescue team for 8pm’
Green
‘Can we cut all the green crap?’
Scottish
‘Let’s elope to Gretna Green to separate.’
Dementia
‘If I were you I’d forget about it.’
Chickens
‘We’re still looking into it, but we’re pretty sure it stands for “Kind, Friendly, Courteous” chicken farm.’
Smoking 2
‘Hello, we’re trying to find somewhere we can smoke…’
Michelangelo
Frackland
‘Henceforth to be known as Frackland...’
Lava
‘Next time they offer us something to make our lives more comfortable, let me do the talking.’
Tweet 5
‘Sweetheart, would you like to tweet grace?’
Elvis
‘It’s the Belmonts. They’ve found a potato from their allotment that looks like Elvis, do we want to go round?’
Sale 2
Galley
‘Since the galley had new Spanish owners, the rhythm of the galley slaves had gone haywire.’
Christmas 2
‘OK. Can we make that the last time you refer to Christmas as “Black Wednesday”?’
Calendar 3
‘You open the door and hundreds of thousands of Bulgarians come flooding through.’
Religious
Letters | 5 December 2013
Climate scientists write… Sir: Lord Lawson has written in his diary (30 November) under the online summary headline ‘my secret showdown with the Royal Society on global warming’, but the reality is rather different. As he is aware, the purpose of the meeting on 19 November was not to put on a public performance, but
Portrait of the week | 5 December 2013
Home George Osborne, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, said that average energy bills would be brought £50 lower through government intervention to reduce the obligation of energy companies to subsidise insulation. The government also said it would cut subsidies for onshore wind turbines and solar energy, and increase those for offshore wind farms. David Cameron,
