School 2
‘Don’t even think about going to school in that skirt — you know you’re only allowed to wear it when you go down the pub.’
The Spectator
Thursday
Dog 3
‘You know, I’m beginning to think the dog doesn’t like being locked up in here while we’re at work all day.’
Bopeep
Little Botox Peep and her ageing sheep
Obesity
‘He just sits around all day creating initiatives to reduce obesity.’
Tagging
‘We don’t know where he’s gone.’
Bath 3
Romeo
‘O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?’
Nil
Receptionist
‘Not a chance this week — try again in a fortnight.’
Happy
‘You would tell me if you weren’t happy, wouldn’t you?’
Dalek 3
Pleb
‘Is this the pleb gate?’
Evolution 2
Custody
‘You have the right to post one extremely abusive and threatening message on a social networking site of your own choice.’
Mod 2
‘Look, sir! Tesco are doing buy one get one free!’
Letters | 7 November 2013
Counting on the country Sir: I spent many hours helping to canvas for local Conservative candidates before the last two elections (‘The countryside revolts’, 2 November). I was motivated to do so because of the Labour government’s prejudice against the rural community. The Conservative party offered a chance to redress this prejudice through repealing or
Barometer: Who eats dogs?
Dog’s dinner A Canadian hiker rescued in Quebec was reported to have killed and eaten his German shepherd dog in spite of it having saved him from a bear. Who else, outside Southeast Asia, has survived on dog? — Ernest Shackleton and his party in the Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition of 1914-17 were forced to eat
Portrait of the week | 7 November 2013
Home Three Police Federation representatives accused of giving misleading accounts of a meeting with Andrew Mitchell over the Plebgate scandal are to undergo a second investigation by the Independent Police Complaints Commission. Mohammed Ahmed Mohamed, 27, whose movements are restricted under a Terrorism Prevention and Investigation Measure (known as a T-Pim) went missing after changing
We are not ‘tired of war’. We are tired of lack of leadership to win one
One remarkable fact of recent years is that even as the veterans of the first world war have died and as those who served in the second world war have headed through their eighties and beyond, the memory of the 20th century’s two most devastating wars has continued to be honoured with thoughtfulness and devotion.
