Crab
‘I’m finding it hard moving forward in life.’

‘I’m finding it hard moving forward in life.’
‘I know you wanted to find a quiet part of the beach but we’ve walked too far now.’
‘I hope you haven’t got any skeletons in your YouTube...’
‘Apparently some of our pupils were born in wedlock. We must do all we can to ensure they’re not treated as outcasts.’
Pandora’s box sets
‘It was much more fun sticking someone’s head down the toilet.’
‘…over, the white cliffs of Dover…’
‘How embarrassing… nobody said it was a black-tie do.’
‘Why do we spend so much on foreign aid when we could be giving it to charity bosses?’
We would not want to return to the days when the transport secretary was actively engaged in the running of the railways, down to what the last wheel-tapper was paid. Nevertheless, Patrick McLoughlin’s answer when invited to condemn the £5 million bonuses which could be on offer to Network Rail directors over the next three
Absent friends Sir: Alec Marsh (‘Welcome to Big Venice’, 10 August) accurately observes that Londoners are priced out of central London by largely foreign buyers of second homes. Wealthy foreigners not only buy, they also rent, often living in London for a few years, during which they frequently return to their first home for weeks
Home The population of the United Kingdom rose by 420,000, to 63.7 million, by the middle of last year, with the number of births, 813,000 (more than a quarter to mothers born abroad), being the highest since 1972. Thames Water asked the regulator Ofwat to allow it to impose a 12 per cent increase on
Ward ceremony There have been 29 health secretaries since 1948. How many have wards that — though not necessarily named after them — bear their surname? NYE BEVAN Hillingdon, Harlow, Ealing, East London, Princess Alexandra, Stepping Hall (Stockport) ENOCH POWELL Lewisham Hospital KENNETH ROBINSON Mile End, Lewes, Chesterfield, St Andrews BARBARA CASTLE Warwick, Royal Berkshire,