Fat 2
‘I suppose I just have to accept that you’re not Daddy’s little girl any more.’
The Spectator
Thursday
Bercow
‘It’s amazing! Sally Bercow hasn’t spilled the beans!’
Loans
‘I borrowed this, but I can’t find any shops to spend it in.’
Letters: sheep pay for themselves
Why Ukip aren’t extremists Sir: I don’t wish to be rude to Matthew Parris (‘Why Ukip is a party of extremists’, 1 June), but he should think carefully before labelling civilised citizens as extremists. It’s a silly word to use given what real extremists get up to these days, but the important point is that
Barometer | 6 June 2013
Spy society High on the agenda when Barack Obama and Chinese president Xi Jinping meet in California will be US accusations that China is stealing US intellectual property. Yet the industrial revolution in the US was based on a piece of industrial espionage. — Samuel Slater, who became known as the father of the US
Portrait of the week | 6 June 2013
Home Patrick Mercer MP resigned the Conservative whip after being filmed in discussion with a fake Fijian firm that paid him £4,000 to ask parliamentary questions; he was in fact being investigated by BBC’s Panorama and the Daily Telegraph. Lord Cunningham and Lord Mackenzie of Framwellgate were suspended by the Labour party after the Sunday
We need to talk about Syria
There can be little doubt that Britain is edging towards intervening in Syria. President Bashar Assad’s bloody ruthlessness seems to be paying off: his forces are retaking former rebel strongholds (the strategic town of Qusair was reclaimed this week) and the more he believes he can win, the less likely he is to negotiate. From
Books and Arts – 6 June 2013
Tuesday
The Mike Hancock imbroglio
Mike Hancock last night resigned the Lib Dem whip to fight a court case that includes serious allegations about his conduct. He resigned after a meeting with the chief whip and the party’s deputy leader Simon Hughes about the claims, which he strenuously denies. A party spokesman said last night: ‘Mike Hancock strenuously denies the allegations
Thursday
Alien 2
‘You’ve travelled a billion light years to steal our natural resources? Sucker! We used them all up decades ago!’
Defence
‘Ah, I see you’re employing the English Defence.’
Fat
Emergency
‘There’s nothing wrong with me now, but I expect there will be by the time I’m seen.’
Wilkinson
‘No need to do your Jonny Wilkinson, just kick the door down.’
Spies
‘Couldn’t you just have carried a copy of the Times?’
Portas
Celeb
‘Did you pack this bag, write this book, design this range of clothes and bedlinen and manufacture this perfume yourself?’
Fruitcake
Forgot
‘Say what you like about gay marriage — I’ve forgotten all about our desperate financial situation.’
Bing
‘OK, which one of you did that?