335: total councillors lost by the Tories 291: seats gained by Labour 124: losses sustained by the Lib Dems 139: seats gained by UKIP 147 UKIP council seats after today’s results 10 councils lost by the Tories 2 councils gained by Labour 13 councils now in overall control, up 8 17: the largest gain by UKIP in
‘I could never be a nurse — I faint at the sight of paperwork.’
‘I’m not coming in tomorrow. I’m going to work from home.’
‘Play outside? Where’s the fun in that?
‘Climb up to the top of Mount Everest and say that!’
‘Oh, no, not worms again.’
‘Come on, Williams, another sale and you can have a go too.’
Killer heels
‘I guarantee we won’t lend you any money.’
‘If you misbehave you’ll have to watch Ben Elton’s new sitcom.’
‘You know, I suspect the government only set up this inquiry to shift the blame from themselves.’
‘This is the Department of Abu Qatada.’
‘It’s the square root of all evil.’
Goers and go-getters Sir: In her interesting article on the rising equality in the female world (‘Sex and success, 27 April), Alison Wolf states that A*/top-stream girls stay virgins until 20 ‘because they have more important things on their minds’. I am not sure about this. I certainly remember that this was not the case
Home In the run-up to local elections, Kenneth Clarke, the Minister without Portfolio, described the UK Independence Party candidates as ‘clowns’. RAF Waddington, Lincolnshire, assumed control of ten Reaper drone aircraft in use over Afghanistan. Irfan Naseer, 31, from Birmingham, the ringleader of a plot to use eight suicide bombers in attacks that could have
