Coffee

‘But if you want a cheaper day return to Crewe, try nudging the lemon but hold the cherry...’
‘For the purpose of recognition, your contact will be reading a copy of the Times on his iPad.’
‘Just how remote is this remote cottage?’
‘Is it a normal symptom of depression to be followed around by vultures?’
‘Can we forget the bedroom tax if I agree to store nuclear waste in there?’
The Mad Hatter’s Ukip party
‘We’ve both walked the streets a bit; perhaps we should be allowed to run a police force.’
‘You sold your soul but you don’t appear to have declared it, Mr Faust.’
‘Sorry, Barbara, but you know our motto: “Survival of the fittest”.’
‘Paxman can be very harsh if you give him a stupid answer.’
‘Come quick! Your father’s in a good mood!’
‘I help the police with their enquiries.’
‘Oh no! Ukip are splitting the Loony vote!’
Benedictions Sir: John O’Sullivan’s summary of Pope Benedict XVI’s ‘extraordinary contribution’ to Catholic thought was masterful (‘Benedict’s reformation’, 16 February) — and how interesting that the Pontiff’s writings and speeches have helped create a new ‘Catholic atheist’ movement. It is a shame, however, that O’Sullivan didn’t mention another area in which Benedict has challenged western
Home Unemployment fell by 14,000 between August and November to 2.5 million, with the number in work rising by 154,000 to 29.7 million, meaning that 580,000 more people were in work than a year before. David Cameron toured India with an entourage of trade delegates. ‘Britain wants to be your partner of choice,’ he said.