Online
‘No more going up the hill, Jill — we can now order water online and have it delivered.’
The Spectator
Thursday
Lobbying
‘You call it whinging. I call it lobbying.’
Houses
‘Business is terrible. Everyone’s baffled by it!’
Frescoes
‘We were painting frescoes in your area and wondered if…’
Lamp Post
You call it “Leaning on a lamp post”. I call it loitering with intent.’
Buddha
‘I think I preferred it when Ernest had low self-esteem.’
Oxfam
Titian
Burglar
Ambulance
‘Certainly madam – and would you like the ambulance in medium, large or extra large?’
Rifle
Teddy
‘OK, chaps, once we’re out of the tunnel we’ll use these wildlife costumes to blend into the surrounding countryside.’
Cryer
‘And now over to the news from your area.’
Hamza
Sober
‘That’s Jack, that’s Gracie, that’s er ... damn, it’s so hard to remember their names when you’re sober.’
Capitalism
‘There are times I regret we ever embraced capitalism.’
Letters | 11 October 2012
The views of Sentamu Sir: I wonder if Archbishop Sentamu is really the best candidate for Canterbury as you suggest (Leading article, 6 October). Cutting up his dog collar on live television in protest against President Mugabe was a splendid gesture; but how exactly has it helped anyone in Zimbabwe? He is wrong in any
Portrait of the week | 11 October 2012
Home ‘Unless we take difficult, painful decisions,’ David Cameron, the Prime Minister, told the Conservative party conference, ‘Britain may not be in the future what it has been in the past.’ He said that it was ‘an hour of reckoning for countries like ours. Sink or swim, do or decline.’ Earlier he had said that
Fringe benefits
The Tory party conference this year was a remarkable success, a festival of conservatism with an impressive array of radical ideas on display. But almost all of them could be found in fringe events, and pitifully few in the hall of the conference. Even Cabinet members complained that the main event lacked fizz. Discussion centred