Tim Bales

‘It’s an invoice from my parents and they’re charging more than the nursery.’

‘Oh no, not more flag-waving!’

‘They are fast becoming something akin to a crusade.’

‘That also rather sums up Labour’s immigration policy.’

‘It’s the only reduction our water company has ever offered us.’

‘It’ll be so big, it’ll be a country within a country – namely ours.’

‘With all the solar and wind farms, there are no scenic routes left.’

‘That’s what I have every time it’s your round.’

‘Their worst punishment would be having to share a cell.’

‘While Reform were making history, the Tories were becoming it.’

‘I love it here. Birmingham is the tops.’

Writer’s block

‘Apparently it doesn’t provide any get out for Keir.’

‘Can you recommend a country where tourists are still welcome?’