Spectator competition winners: Hackety, rackety Donald and Vladimir – double dactyls about double acts

The latest challenge was to compose double dactyls about double acts. I didn’t include the rules about double dactyls this time round as they are rather long-winded and I’ve done it before — and in any case they are easily Googled. Most of you seemed thoroughly at home with the form, and in a large, lively and accomplished entry double dactylic duos from time present (Trump and Melania, Declan and Anthony) and time past (Boney and Josephine) rubbed shoulders with the literary (Regan and Goneril), the musical (Gilbert and Sullivan, Simon and Garfunkel) and the comical (Stanley and Oliver). George Simmers and Mae Scanlan are highly commended. The winners, printed below, earn £15 each.

Brian Allgar Hackety, rackety, Donald and Vladimir Sneer at collusion. ‘It’s Fake News!’ they say.

That’s what they tell us, but Megalomaniac Donald’s now ruling the USSA.

Robert Schechter Bardily, hardily, Gertrude and Claudius Killed Hamlet’s father so ‘Vengeance!’ he cried!

Yet in the end the boy Oversoliloquized, Dithered and dallied till Everyone died.

Susan McLean Sneakily, cheekily, Crabtree & Evelyn, named to sound British, a Yankee pretence,

under the guise of its nomenclatorial bid for distinction, made dollars from scents.

Chris O’Carroll Avidly-Ovidly, Thisbe and Pyramus, Badly confused by a Leonine brute,

Die at the hands of two Post-Babylonian Amateur thespians, Bottom and Flute.

Bill Greenwell Flobadob, flobadob, William and Benjamin Lived for their pot, and on That they agreed.

Most of their street slang was Incomprehensible, Though you could sense they were Both fond of Weed.

Mike Morrison Schmaltzily-waltzily Rodgers and Hammerstein Money-spun musicals — Think Carousel;

Iffy, improbable Counterintuitive Lap-’em-up love stories, Corny as hell.

Francis Harry Lakey-post-Blakery, William and Dorothy Saw what they saw and they Knew what they knew.

Those two go walking — gold Flowers do dance moves, then Prodaffodilian Legions ensue

Alan Millard Tumpity-Tompity, Stanley and Livingstone Met as a pair in the African gloom.

Proof of their meeting was, Unsatisfyingly, Something that Stanley could Only presume.

Max Gutmann Bridery-hidery Trump and Melania Seem rather odd as their Nation’s First Pair:

He’s the quintessence of Megalomania; She looks her happiest When she’s not there.

Orel Protopopescu Rollicky, frolicky, Popeye and Olive Oyl, Spinach for breakfast the Day they were wed.

Battled all rivals till Unwatchability, Not lethal jealousy, Beat them instead.

Joseph Conlon Dinafore-pinafore Gilbert and Sullivan Musical masters of Upside-down fun.

Quarrelled on matters pure Flibbertigibberty, Making the lawyers’ lot A happy one.

Your next challenge is to submit a short story entitled ‘The day the internet died’. Please email entries of up to 150 words (providing word count) to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 11 July.