Marriage guidance

In Competition No. 3020 you were invited to submit the formula for a successful marriage courtesy of a well-known husband or wife in literature.
 
Some time ago, I challenged you to do the same on behalf of well-known poets, and if you like your advice brief and to the point, there’s always Ogden Nash’s ‘A Word to Husbands’:
 

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

 
Your prescriptions were less pithy, but no less impressive for that. The winners take £30, and a fine display of Mr Polly’s ‘innate sense of epithet’ earns Alan Millard £35.
 

Like Zeooze’s Three Graces, there are three rules for nuptialious felicitation: choose shrewdaciously, nurture gallantously and abandon boldly.
 
The right choice is imperitous. Choose as you would a new bicycle. With lots of prospective fish in my sea like Minnie or Christabel, rectospectously I should have chosen someone avidorous for Chaucer, Bocashiew and chivelresque adventures. But, in the end, Miriam was thrust upon me like Malivio’s greatness.
 
Nurturing gallantously can save marriages. Buy a house easy to clean. Get a cat and a canary. Dig a floriforous corner with ’sturtiums and a clothesline where you can sit and pursue rapturious medieval imaginings. Dream of slaying dragons and beg for a little finger to oscoolate.
 
If romantications fail, proceed to step three. Abandon everything. Combustulate your bridges and cycle away like a knight on a stallion into the sunset where, hopefully, new and exciting Odysseous adventures await you beyond the horizon.
Alan Millard (Mr Polly) 
 
Perfect felicity and communion with one’s husband need not be achieved by means of actual cohabitation. This can be especially true if one marries a gentleman who appears to be uncomfortable with the habits one finds conducive to a fulfilment of the spirit, such as crawling about on all fours in situations when others might commonly elect to stand upright.