It was all about education at PMQs. Sir Keir Starmer mounted a targeted attack on Winchester College whose old boys include Rishi Sunak. The Labour leader had researched the institution that he claims to despise with the fascination of a stalker.
Winchester College has a rowing club, he gushed. It has an art collection too, he marvelled. It even has a rifle-range, he panted. And the fees, he salivated, the fees come to £40,000 per year. While evidently admiring the school, he also embraces a policy of scrapping it. Why? Personal anguish. By destroying Winchester he can deal with the deep and obsessive adoration that causes him so much torment. But he framed his private turmoil as a public good. He said that £6 million worth of tax breaks had been lavished on Winchester while state schools in nearby Southampton had failed. Two-fifths of 16-year-olds flunked their English GCSE, he told us. But then again, is mass illiteracy such a bad thing? Those lucky youngsters won’t have to read Dickens or the next Labour manifesto.
Rishi took Sir Keir’s unprovoked assault personally.
‘Whenever he attacks me about where I went to school he is attacking the hard work and aspiration of millions.’ Then he raised the temperature and hit the big red button: he brought in the seniors. ‘People like my parents felt this is a country that believes in opportunity not resentment… He doesn’t understand that – which is why he’s not fit to lead.’
Rishi was stung, clearly, and Sir Keir’s face misted over with befuddlement. He’d be wise to find a different tactic and to avoid any suggestion that he dislikes newcomers who arrive here and do well. ‘Labour hates migrants,’ would be a killer slogan from a PM of Asian descent.
Over to the backbenchers. Most of them rattled the bowl on behalf of needy voters. Mark Pawsey asked Rishi to give Coventry a new giga-factory to make car batteries. Rishi over-promised by pledging £350 million for ‘supply chain development’. Andrew Percy wanted extra sandbags to stop rainwater seeping in under doorways. Rishi claimed that he’d already doubled investment on flood defences.
Esther McVey spoke up for a constituent called Esther McVey who regularly commutes from Tatton to London. Poor Esther, said Esther, is fed up with the lousy service which used to reach London in just 110 minutes. But now the tired old chugger dawdles along the southbound track for over three hours before wheezing into the capital. ‘Totally unacceptable,’ said Esther on behalf of her busy constituent. Rishi promised extra drivers to restore her personal transport system to its former glory.
The requests piled up. Colleen Fletcher demanded a shrink in every school to prevent kids from learning to cope with emotional setbacks unaided. Rishi claimed that he’d already parachuted one of these self-appointed mind-readers into 60 per cent of our schools. The rest will follow shortly.
A pattern is emerging and its contours are deepening: a tax-sucker pleads for more state cash and it’s granted in return for more state control. No wonder the Tories say Labour hasn’t got a plan. Rishi’s nicked it.
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