Q. In the event of the expected death of a dear friend, I have been asked to organise the funeral. I have no idea which newspaper I should put the announcement in. Each death notice costs about £60, so if I were to do the Times, Telegraph, Guardian and Independent, it would all mount up, and with no guarantee of people even noticing it and being able to attend the funeral. Any advice?
—C.D., London SW9
A. A new service, still in its infancy, has been set up by three society matriarchs to solve this very dilemma. With their website www.funeralinfo.co.uk, the women concerned have provided a simple solution to informing friends and relations of funeral arrangements being made, wishes about flowers or donations and transport to and from the service. The information can remain up for an indefinite period and memorial services can also be announced there. If you are expecting to hear of a death, you can register for an email to inform you when it happens. The website charges a flat fee of £8 to announce the death with no limit to the number of words; further details and photographs can also be added. This website is free for mourners to search, and once a death has been logged there, anyone entering the name of the deceased into a search engine with the word ‘funeral’, or similar, will be led straight to the site.
Q. For the last few years we have kept Tamworth pigs as a community bonding exercise. We encourage the locals to sponsor a piglet which we then fatten on our land. Everyone wins, as we get overgrown tracts cleared and the sponsors get a freezerful of butchered joints at the end of a year. Previously we have always had sows and have always named them after virtues — chastity, patience, honour etc. Now we have some boars and are at a loss for names as all virtues seem to be feminine.
—G.B., Berwickshire
A. There is no reason why male pigs, or boars, should be any less honourable or chaste than their female counterparts. However, the following virtues are more classically linked with masculinity: forbearance, discretion, punctuality and frugality.
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers for a very labour-unintensive pudding? You buy a bottle of El Candado sherry and splash a third of it onto some halved peaches or pears in an oven dish. Load this into an oven and leave for 25 minutes. El Candado is the only sherry this works with and it obviates the need for cinnamon, vanilla, or a caramel reduction.
—S.B., London SW1
A. How kind of you to take the time to help readers in this way. Hot semi-alcoholic fruit is indeed a popular pudding course and does not even need to be supplemented with the usual dairy product lubricants.
Comments