Dear Mary: How can I handle boredom during a play?

Q. I am at a dinner and the man on my right won’t turn and I am staring ahead feeling ultra self-conscious and victimy. The table is too wide for the people opposite to help out. What to do?

– L.P., London W11

A. Twenty years ago the answer to this question would have been: ‘Place your hand on to the offender’s thigh.’ Today you will need to get the attention of your host at the head of the table and give a subtle signal that a disruption is called for. An experienced host will break the spell by clinking a glass and making a pleasant announcement of some kind and adding that he/she hopes everyone has turned.

Q. What is the etiquette when sitting next to someone on a plane? It seems odd to sit closer than you would to your own partner without some sort of acknowledgment. Recently I turned to my fellow passenger and said ‘Hello, I’m John’ brightly. He gave me a look of alarm. Is it more polite to simply ignore one’s neighbour?

– J.W., Frome, Somerset

A. Many seasoned air travellers are cautious about being friendly to their adjacent fellow passenger for fear of unleashing a flight-long monologue from a potential bore who has spotted a captive audience. The correct etiquette is to indicate goodwill as you first take your seat, by making eye contact and smiling broadly, before then inserting AirPods, whether or not they are turned on. While you are unlikely to meet a soulmate on a flight from Luton to Las Palmas, it may be a different matter on a flight between Luton and Sibiu if, for example, you are heading for the Transylvania book festival. If you sense compatibility (judging by the neighbour’s reading matter or general demeanour during the flight), wait until about 25 minutes before landing to make your friendly overture.

Q. A dear elderly friend is a keen theatre-goer who kindly invites me to accompany him on a regular basis. He takes me to dinner afterwards and I love talking to him but my problem is that I often find myself bored beyond measure during the play and don’t know how to put up with this ordeal, which often lasts for as long as two hours. Any suggestions, Mary?

– Name and address withheld

A. You might take a tip from ex-Queen Margrethe of Denmark. Gyles Brandreth reveals in his recent book Seven Secrets of Happiness how she coped with the tedium of public life. ‘If you listen carefully the speech is very rarely as boring as you thought it was going to be. Don’t switch off. Somehow listen. It is much better that way.’