Dear Mary: How do I stop my friend’s banal WhatsApp messages?

Q. I have a very dear friend who lives in Scotland, so we rarely see each other. Before the internet existed, we would call each other on the landline two or three times a year for a pleasant catch-up, and meet sporadically. However, since the onslaught of social media, my friend has taken to sending several WhatsApps per day, almost always saying things like ‘How is your day going?’, adding a few banal details of the current weather in the Highlands or what she plans to bake that day. I feel guilty if I don’t reply at all, so find myself sending pleasantries back, even though I am feeling very irritated by the constant interruptions. I can’t think how to rectify this without offending her. Any advice, Mary?

— G.J., Cheshire

A. Message your friend to say that your phone has informed you how many hours you are spending online each week. You are horrified to think how much of her time you must have been wasting! You must apologise and can reassure her that from now on you will not be blizzarding her with banalities and running commentaries on your day. This will free up time for both of you to tackle more useful things.

Q. We have moved, for work, away from Gloucestershire, where we knew everyone, to Lincolnshire, where we don’t seem to know anyone. Help! How can we find like-minded new friends?

— Name and address withheld

A. Since your longer letter reveals you are a member of Radio H-P, why not recruit potential friends with a post offering, for example, free beech saplings or similar to anyone local who would like to collect. This could serve as a type of social speed dating, as you will undoubtedly have a conversational exchange with whoever turns up and be able to get the measure of them.