Alex Massie

Alan Sugar: the rare rat that joins a sinking ship

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Could anything more confirm this government's hapless, pointless, useless, desperate, incompetence than the appointment of Alan Sugar* as "Enterprise Czar" (whatever the hell that is)? Doubtless this is something to do with the idea of a "government of all the talents". Sheesh. Still, why end here? Readers are invited to speculate which of these preposterous characters should be the next to join the government and which jobs they should have:

Richard & Judy

Gillian McKeith

Ant & Dec

Ainsley Harriot

Noel Edmonds

Carol Vorderman

Paul Daniels

Simon Cowell

Susan Boyle

*American readers will have been spared having to know who Sugar is. Suffice it to say that he's the presenter of the British version of The Apprentice and that this move by Brown is, therefore, rather like bringing Donald Trump into government. Yes, really. For once you might be hard pressed to make this sort of nonsense up.

Written byAlex Massie

Alex Massie is Scotland Editor of The Spectator. He also writes a column for The Times and is a regular contributor to the Scottish Daily Mail, The Scotsman and other publications.

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