Lucy Vickery

All together now | 27 February 2014

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In Competition 2836 you were invited to coin collective nouns for the following: tweeters, hackers, hoodies, WAGS, environmentalists, bankers, MPs and contrarians.

This was by far the most popular competition we’ve run for a long time and it was cheering to see so many new names in the postbag. Inevitably, there was a fair amount of repetition: nest/cacophony/outrage/triviality of tweeters came up more than once, as did skulk/huggle/scowl of hoodies; bonus/wad/wunch/trough of bankers; knot/-perversity/Hitch of contrarians; vacuum/bling/surgery of WAGs; flood of environmentalists; expense of MPs; to list just a few.

I especially liked Graham Peters’s and John Doran’s ‘thong of WAGs’, Sarah Drury’s ‘concatenation of tweeters’, Poppy McLean’s ‘excess of MPs’, Una McMorran’s ‘mischief of contrarians’, Mike Morrison’s ‘Guardian of environmentalists’, P.C. Parrish’s ‘womenagerie of WAGs’, J.R. Johnson’s ‘tawd of WAGs’, David Farrant’s ‘rapacity of bankers’, Tracy Davidson’s ‘virus of hackers’, John MacRitchie’s ‘bristle of contrarians’, Patrick Smith’s ‘sorryority of WAGs’ and John O’Byrne’s ‘swarm of environmentalists’.

Alan Mercado kindly wrote to inform me that the Times published a selection of readers’ collective nouns for politicians a decade or so ago. His own contribution was a ‘dissemblance’; others included ‘a prattle’, and an ‘odium’. For the current comp Mr Mercado offered the excellent ‘bimboism of WAGs’. The winners below nab £15 each.

A thumb of tweeters

A murdoch of hackers

A lurk of hoodies

A trophy of WAGs

A panda of environmentalists

A plunder of bankers

An ego of MPs

An ain’t of contrarians

Chris O’Carroll

A WTF of tweeters

An algorithm of hackers

A scapegoat of hoodies

An ogle of WAGs

A hedgerow of environmentalists

A scrounge of bankers

A recidivism of MPs

A versus of contrarians

A.G. Atkinson

A drivel of tweeters

A nerdstorm of hackers

A provocation of hoodies

A spice of WAGs

A frack of environmentalists

A crisis of bankers

A pander of MPs

A gainsay of contrarians

Francis Harry

A tootle of tweeters

A nerditude of hackers

A hoodlummery of hoodies

A catfight of WAGs

A zealotry of environmentalists

A backstabbery of bankers

A blathering of MPs

An apocalypse of contrarians

Douglas G. Brown

A tedium of tweeters

A cobweb of hackers

A slouch of hoodies

A cackle of WAGs

An idyll of environmentalists

A bonanza of bankers

A smarm of MPs

A concordance of contrarians

Alan Millard

A compulsive of tweeters

A pry of hackers

A hunch of hoodies

A sideshow of WAGs

A gaiarchy of environmentalists

A fleece of bankers

A glasshouse of MPs

A countershaft of contrarians

W.J. Webster

A babel of tweeters

An intrusion of hackers

An intimidation of hoodies

A vulgarity of WAGs

A turbine of environmentalists

A swindle of bankers

A squirm of politicians

A naysay of contrarians

Katie Mallett

A flock of tweeters

A slick of bankers

A snoop of hackers

A menace of hoodies

A handbag of WAGs

A thicket of environmentalists

A gravyboat of MPs

A conflict of contrarians

Clive Mather

A polyphony of tweeters

A vermicularity of hackers

A crookery of hoodies

A nonentity of WAGS

A Gaiad of environmentalists

A defecation of bankers

A turpitude of MPs

A mensanguinity of contrarians

Brian Murdoch

A racket of tweeters

A paranoia of hackers

A cloister of hoodies

A diet of WAGs

A pulpit of environmentalists

An infestation of bankers

A wallow of MPs

A schism of contrarians

G. M. Davis

No. 2839: art of darkness

You are invited to submit a poem on the darker side of spring (16 lines maximum). Please email entries, wherever possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 12 March.