And one more for the road – excerpts from Roddy Doyle’s latest

9-12-12 — See the spacer died. —Wha’ spacer? —The Sky at Night fella. —Bobby Moore. —Patrick Moore. —That’s him, yeah. Did he die? —Yeah. —That’s a bit sad. He was good, wasn’t he? —Brilliant. Very English as well. —How d’yeh mean? —Well, like — he’d look into his telescope an’ his eyebrows would go mad cos he was so excited abou’ all the fuckin’ stars an’ the planets an’ tha’. An’ the words — —They fuckin’ poured out of him. —Exactly. It was brilliant. But if he’d been Irish, he’d just’ve said, So wha’? They’re only fuckin’ stars. There’s no way it would’ve been the longest-runnin’ programme in the history o’ television if it’d been Irish. —You might be righ’. —Think about it. Our attitude is just shite. —I remember once, but. He was goin’ on abou’ how the light from stars took millions o’ years to reach here and how the light we saw might be comin’ from stars tha’ were long dead — cos it took so long, like. An’ well — —Wha’? —Maybe he died years ago an’ we’re only findin’ out about it now.

16-12-12

—Did yeh go past my place on your way? —I did, yeah. —Notice annythin’? —It’s still there. —You’ll need to be a bit more fuckin’ specific. —Lovely tree. —No. —Big Santy in garden. —Union Jack. —Wha’? —The flag. Hangin’ off the chimney. —Well, it’s fuckin’ night-time. So no, I didn’t —. Are yeh serious? —I am, yeah. —You’ve the flag o’Britain on top o’ your house? —Yeah. —Why? —The Shinners in Belfast voted to get rid of it, off the top o’ the City Hall — yeah? —The riots an’ tha’. —Yeah. Except for fifteen days o’ the year. So I bought one. —A Union Jack? —Off eBay, yeah. —Okay, grand. Fuckin’ why, but? —Show the cunts it works both ways. I’m hangin’ me flag for fifteen days o’ the year. Paddy’s Day, Easter Monday. All the biggies.