At last! The ‘splashback problem’ has been solved

After months of study, scientists have at last discovered the most amenable way to urinate without suffering what they call ‘splashback’. In a study entitled ‘Splash dynamics of a male urine stream’, the researchers suggest that a ‘narrow angle of attack’ and close proximity to the receptacle are both crucial factors. There was no word, however, on the vexed dilemma of whether or not you should remove the washing up from the sink before weeing or just leave it in and hope nobody notices.

Incidentally, the scientists concerned are Mormons at the Brigham Young University in Utah, where every academic endeavour must be, er, guided by the Lord’s spirituality. Next time they knock on the door, then, show them how adept you’ve become with your ‘narrow angle of attack’.