Bookends: Unbalanced chorus

Imagine a 77-year-old woman hanging around, say, Leicester bus station, telling people about her life. She confides her belief that she is under surveillance by the military. She maintains that she can ‘see the reality of the web of synchronicity in my life’. Showing off her special jewellery that ‘helps balance the chakras’, she reveals that ‘because I had a high metabolism and moved around a lot, I had no real [weight] problem until I was about 50’.

Imagine a 77-year-old woman hanging around, say, Leicester bus station, telling people about her life. She confides her belief that she is under surveillance by the military. She maintains that she can ‘see the reality of the web of synchronicity in my life’. Showing off her special jewellery that ‘helps balance the chakras’, she reveals that ‘because I had a high metabolism and moved around a lot, I had no real [weight] problem until I was about 50’.

Past-life experiences figure heavily. She was a ‘harem girl in the home of a pasha in Turkey’, an androgynous being in the ‘Lemurian (pre-Atlantis) time period’, and also knew her dog Terry before ‘in Egypt, I think, when she was an Annubis, a God of the Netherworld.’

She has strong views on inject-able vitamin C, and needs ‘at least two slices of bread a day, usually at breakfast’. Aware that she is ‘ten years ahead of the curve on many things’, she shares her suspicion that the government is concealing the ‘real truth behind Pearl Harbor’, and reveals that UFOs are ‘documented fact’, but that a cover-up is in operation ‘so as not to alarm the human race’.

The only difference between this woman and the Hollywood actress Shirley MacLaine is that while one is given a wide berth, the other has been given a book deal.