Gaily into Uxbridge Station runs the red electric train,
And alighting on the platform – he with the albino mane.
Can he charm the blue-rinsed matrons,
Past-it bankers, golf club patrons,
Can he do it – yes he can!
Well done Boris! Side-step Clacton, ‘Essex is no place for me,
‘Better here in leafy Ruislip, with its vast majority.
‘Better here to fight the battle,
‘In Downing Street they’ll feel the rattle!
‘Uxbridge, baby – I’m your man!’
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