Gyles Brandreth

Britain’s best one-liners, from Oxford’s 2013 edition

A selection from the latest edition of The Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations, edited by <em>Gyles Brandreth</em>

Britney Spears doesn't have time to sit down and write songs (Picture: Getty)

Modest about our national pride — and inordinately proud of our national modesty.

—Ian Hislop

I always invest in companies an idiot could run, because one day one will.

—Warren Buffett

I find it easy to portray businessmen. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

—John Cleese

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.

—Lily Tomlin

I don’t work that way ….

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