Having perused the replies for my call to caption Ed Miliband and Mary Creagh, Mr S is sorry to say that there is no 'winner', nor even a 'favourite.'
There is merely a non-honourable mention for the response that caused your correspondent to chortle so lustily that I spilled my tea and soaked my smoking jacket. So, for reader 'Samson', no prizes or accolades, but rather a stern gaze for his amusing submission, reposted below.
'These earthlings are ever-displeased with me. Xinipemnan ijsdiih dhhjejndb ghty am I doing wrongly?'
Meanwhile, Mr S can't help but pass along the chatter I overheard, whilst admiring the assembled regalia, at a recent photo-call when David Cameron met military personnel, and EastEnders actresses Lacey Turner and Barbara Windsor, for the poppy appeal:
David Cameron: Barbara! Lacey! Don't you both look lovely! Thanks for supporting the troops.
Barbara Windsor: Ta Dave. Now, what are you going to do about Angela Merkel, then? The Europeans are making you look a bit of a prat, you know.
Lacey Turner: I thought this was the line to meet Prince Harry...?
David Cameron: This isn't - I don't - this isn't the day to discuss Chancellor Merk -
Barbara Windsor: Really though, I've played Carry On characters who handled foreigners with more poise than you've been demonstrating, sir.
David Cameron: Perhaps Carry On had better writers than I do.
Lacey Turner: Look, if Prince Harry isn't coming, I might just pop along now -
Guardsman in red: Please don't, miss - he'll be along shortly, probably...we promise.
Sailor: Stay right where you are Miss Turner, we beg you.