Lucy Vickery presents the latest competition
In Competition No. 2587 you were invited to submit an opening to an imaginary novel so magnificently bad that it would repel any would-be reader.
This is an unashamed rip-off of the hugely popular annual Bulwer-Lytton contest, which honours the memory of the 19th-century writer Edward Bulwer-Lytton, whose novel Paul Clifford features the immortal and much-parodied opening: ‘It was a dark and stormy night…’
To parody bad writing successfully takes great skill and I hope that this assignment was as enjoyable to grapple with as it was to judge.
Disagree with half of it, enjoy reading all of it
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