James Hughesonslow

Confessions of a drink driver on a ‘rehab’ course

Banned for a year, James Hughes-Onslow found himself sent to a group discussion class every Friday in which two ladies schooled him in the art of sobriety on the road

I blame Matthew d’Ancona, esteemed editor of this organ, for his over-generous hospitality. It was after one of The Spectator’s pre-Christmas celebrations that I was breathalysed and banned from driving for a year, later reduced to nine months if I underwent counselling. It all started when, as an occasional Spectator scribe since 1974, I received a last-minute invitation to a dinner for readers to meet contributors. It was 6 p.m. and I was in the Evening Standard’s offices in Kensington. The dinner was at the Royal Hospital, Chelsea, at 7.15, and I had to get home to Camberwell six miles away to change into a dinner jacket.

As I later told Camberwell Green Magistrates’ Court, I was full of remorse and regret about what happened, especially as I have a freedom pass. I was caught out by a bizarre sequence of events. When I got home I found our next-door neighbour, a lady in her mid-fifties, being beaten up by a gang of hoodies on my doorstep. She was trying to ring our bell because there was no one in her house. They were holding a knife to her throat, punching her in the face and kicking her. When they saw me, they ran off and I chased them, accompanied by my son, who had heard the noise. We soon lost them and returned to the house, where we called the police. They came round quickly but I was still hopelessly late for the dinner, so I decided to take my scooter.

When I got to Chelsea hospital, still shaking and sweating, I was offered a large drink, then another one or two. Spectator readers listened sympathetically to my traumatic experiences that evening and suggested another glass of wine. When I left the party at around midnight, the man at the gate said I couldn’t leave the scooter inside the gardens, and there were no legal parking places outside on the Chelsea embankment.

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