Dear Mary | 10 January 2013

Q. Just before Christmas I ran into a senior executive at a rival firm to the one where I currently work. She asked would I be interested in a job she thought she might have coming up and I said yes. I have heard nothing and I cannot casually inquire when bumping into her as, although we work in the same building, she is 20 floors up and our paths never cross. I dare not make discreet enquiries, as someone might talk and alert existing colleagues that I was being disloyal enough to consider leaving. Nor do I fancy ringing her directly and being humiliated to hear the job has gone to someone else and she has not bothered to tell me. How can I move things forward?
— Name withheld, London E14

A. Holding a gift-wrapped parcel and wearing a silly smirk, ask the men at reception what time this woman normally comes in to work. Once you have established the likely time frame, you can then go up and down in the lift for however many journeys it takes until she gets in. In this way you can nudge her in a casual manner. This technique was used by the late Etti Plesch, who married six men, the last one the international financier Dr Arpad Plesch. Having been told by the doorman at Claridge’s that Dr Plesch was the richest guest currently staying and that his hobby was gardening, she managed to meet him in the lift using exactly this technique and brandishing a giant book on gardening to trigger conversation. Femme fatales find Horses and Husbands: The Memoirs of Etti Plesch (2007), edited by Hugo Vickers, a deeply enjoyable read.