Q. My godson, who has just finished his A-levels, has always wanted to work in television or film production. I would like to help him get an internship but, although I am a journalist and have some friends in that world, they all say their books are full. If only they would just meet him. The boy is charismatic, hard-working and witty and would be quickly seen to be a great asset in any team he joined. He has written hundreds of letters but to no avail. I would hate to see his charisma diminish when summer ends and he has no job in sight. What do you suggest, Mary?
C.L., London W12
A. The boy is young. He should change tactics in the short term and re-brand himself as a cleaner or male nanny or gardening skivvy. Posing as such a ‘treasure’, he can target the households of some of the more important media moguls until he gets a job, ideally a live-in one. In this way his target audience will receive prolonged exposure to his personal charisma and productivity. When the moment is right, he can announce that he is beginning to think that ‘domestic work’ is not stretching him enough. Moreover, he has been so inspired by his boss’s interesting life, he wonders whether he or she could steer him toward a lowly apprenticeship position which would enable him to keep contact with the household and be able to help out with domestic chores at short notice.
Q. Friends of mine own an independent bookshop. The shop is exquisitely curated to surprise and delight the local brainboxes and aesthetes as well as to stock more predictable and popular requirements: titles both old and new inspire customers. However, I consider it bad form when I see other residents of our small seaside town behaving less well. Some of them are clearly using the marvellous browsability of this shop to get inspiration for books that they imagine they can then go home and buy more cheaply on the internet. Some of them even have the nerve to go up to the counter and ask the shop owners if they can borrow a pen. The shop is one of the major assets of our town and I consider this behaviour disloyal. What would you do, Mary?
G.W., Aldeburgh, Suffolk
A. Where money is concerned, it is not always easy to appeal to someone’s better nature. The saving is what matters to them. Your friends might do well to replicate some supermarket price comparison practices and have tasteful stickers on key bestsellers showing how favourably their price compares to an internet purchase once postage and waiting time are taken into account. The catchphrase on these labels could read: ‘We Aim to Inspire, not to Retire!’
Q. As the first flushes of menopausal middle age become an increasing and all too consuming social hazard, can you, dear Mary, come up with some speedy solution that will excuse my sudden and often shocking rise in body temperature?
Name and address withheld
A. Always wear loose cotton next to the skin so as to be able to strip off other layers, and always carry some sort of reticule, no matter how tiny. You can then have the excuse of a rapid exit by waving it, saying, ‘Sorry, I can feel my mobile throbbing. Got to take it. It’s from a child.’
Comments