Q. I belong to a small reading group in the village in which I live and have always enjoyed our meetings. Recently, however, one member of the group took it upon herself to invite a new neighbour to join us. We wanted to be welcoming and so said nothing; unfortunately, however, the newcomer has rather too much to say for herself, none of it worth listening to. She is also entirely lacking in self-awareness and so, despite increasingly obvious hints, does not realise just how much we resent her raucous tones and attention-seeking. She also likes rotten books and drives a Footballers’ Wives’ car. This woman has spoiled the group’s atmosphere and several of us are now wondering whether to bother to attend the next meeting. What should we do?
J.A., Hertfordshire
A. Like society, reading groups need structure and discipline. It seems you did not have a chairperson to steer the incomer towards a behaviour more in keeping with the atmosphere of your group. In order not to hurt her feelings or make her feel that she is the victim of snobbery, why not announce at the beginning of your next meeting that, sadly, this will be the final meeting of the Hertfordshire Reading Group and invite those present to give a warm round of applause to everyone who made it such a success? Then quietly set up the Hertfordshire Philosophy Group. Invite all those members whose compatibility with one another is already established to become members. ‘The title is misleading,’ you can explain. ‘We will still be discussing books but just in a more philosophical way.’
Q. Since the Routemaster bus was withdrawn I have had to travel to work in one of the new mobile prisons. I work in Hanover Square, off Oxford Street, which means I am often trapped inside the bus as it sits in gridlocked traffic only a hundred yards or so from the stop where I would normally get out. But, even if the bus is stationary and at the kerbside, the driver will not open the doors until we are at the stop. Some mornings this wastes several minutes. I feel not just frustrated but also humiliated at being trapped like this, often by someone who does not seem to speak English. This is not a good way to start the working day. What do you suggest, Mary? I cannot walk the whole way to work as usually I have heavy bags to carry.
C.P., London W12
A. Once again bogus compensation seekers — who would contrive to have minor accidents when stepping off the Routemasters into traffic — have blighted the quality of life for the rest of us. There is, however, a little noticed emergency exit at the back of the bus. Provided you are polite to those sitting next to it and ensure you shut the door carefully after you have stepped down into the traffic, I see no reason why you should not make use of this facility. I understand it is not illegal to do so — at your own risk.
If you have a problem, write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL.
Comments