Q. My wife has always had a wide network of friends, many of whom she makes contact with each day as they bring her up to date with how things are going in their lives. She is a good listener and always sees the point of things. She very much enjoys being abreast of all gossip as it ‘breaks’. This would be fine but she is now on the telephone for, I estimate, around four hours a day, two of them with an earpiece while she is doing the school run. I would not mind if the emotional traffic were two-way but it always seems to be my wife who is consoling or congratulating some interlocutor and I never hear the favour being returned. She has turned into a kind of unpaid counsellor to some of these bores who appear to be addicted to keeping her informed of every minor development in their day. Indeed, she herself is clearly addicted to these real-life soap operas with their rolling news. She claims she has to carry a mobile in case I, or one of the children, is trying to get through to her. How can I tactfully tell these parasites to back off?
Name and address withheld
A. Give your wife a present of a new mobile to which only you and the children have the number. If her friends have to leave messages on the old mobile and wait a few hours for their feedback, their ‘news’ will soon lose its sense of urgency — particularly if your wife returns their calls at a time of day when their hands are full. In this way both parties’ addiction levels can be brought down to more manageable levels.
Q. I am in the process of helping my sister plan her wedding.
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