Q. My daughter’s bedroom window has a clear view down into next door’s kitchen. Yesterday she drew my attention to several mice who were bolting out of the kitchen skirting, feasting on crumbs and having a high old time while my neighbour (who is very nice but not a bosom pal) was safely upstairs putting her many children to bed. Do I tell her? I think if the circumstances were reversed I would want to know. But she has a new baby so I am afraid she might be feeling overwhelmed already. Please advise!
— Name and address withheld
A. Your neighbour must be informed. The problem is that by telling her you observed the mice from your private viewing chamber next door, you risk making her feel self-conscious in her own kitchen. Instead you should launder the intelligence through a third party. Tell her that your window cleaner spotted the pests when perched atop a ladder at the back of your house.
Q. This morning my husband answered the telephone. A rather manipulative and bossy friend of mine was on the other end. She knew I was trying to duck her call so, instead of just asking could she speak to me, she first asked whether I was there and whether I was busy. My husband confirmed both that I was there and that I was not busy and so she asked him to put me on. The result was a disaster as I was caught off guard and agreed to do something I would never normally have agreed to, but I was absolutely stumped. What can one do when unfairly ambushed in this way, Mary?
— F.J., Bourton on the Hill, Glos
A. You can take the telephone and, speaking in ventriloquist tones, say ‘Can I ring you back? I’m just sitting for a portrait and the artist does not want me to disturb the pose.’
Q. I have three couples coming to stay for a weekend house party. Too late do I learn the unwelcome news that most of them have given up alcohol for Lent. My husband and I are rather dependent on alcohol and would normally rely on vast quantities of good wine to keep our guests and ourselves happy over a weekend. We are a sedentary group, it is cold outside and we are all fifty-something. It would be ungracious to cancel these virtuous but guilt-inducing friends but how can we amuse and entertain them in the circs while continuing to drink ourselves?
— B.W., Sittingbourne, Kent
A. Why not distract them by hiring a bridge tutor? The tutor teaches novices from scratch and teases up the games of established players. Of course participation should be voluntary, but most people would welcome the chance to learn the basics of this fashionable game over a weekend.
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