Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 20 September 2018

Q. A neighbour, a wonderful old friend in his late eighties, is a marvellous raconteur. As a family we have enjoyed his company for years. Our problem is that our children have entered their mid-teens and become pompous and intolerant. When we entertain at lunchtime they and their friends ruin the atmosphere by trying to gag our friend, complaining that his remarks are racist, homophobic, snobbish — the works. They particularly object to his imitation of foreign accents, one of his party turns. We love our children but this is causing tension at the table. What do you suggest?
— E.D.G., Calne

A. Explain to your children that it is in their own interest to humour your friend by laughing along with his jokes. It doesn’t mean they approve of them. He is a member of an endangered species and they are fortunate to witness living history in action. 

Q. I live in a small village famous for its castle. Despite being a popular place for newcomers and retirees alike, there appears to be a growing trend to carry out noisy gardening and building work on a Sunday, at all hours. I obviously do not wish to identify myself as a ‘killjoy’ and everyone knows how village politics can cause long-lasting resentment, but I would like to request a little more consideration from those who appear to ignore others in their neighbourhood. I understood the unwritten rule was ‘Saturday, never before ten, and not after four’, but never on a Sunday!
— Name and address withheld.

A. First make the investment of an Ad Astra portable megaphone (£9 from Astounded Entertainment).

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