Q. A friend, well known for having a dusty wallet, brought a bottle of champagne to our house. We were pleasantly surprised but, though it looked exactly like a real bottle of Oudinot Epernay, it did not feel quite heavy enough. On closer inspection, we saw that our friend had somehow picked up an empty display bottle and, because the label had a barcode, had paid the full amount, £24. He showed us the receipt.
He said he would return it to the Marks & Spencer on the motorway near his home (rather than ours) and so we did not have a bottle of champagne after all, but we thought that at least he had shown willing.
Now I discover by pure chance that another mutual friend had exactly the same experience with him last weekend. Clearly, having acquired this display bottle in genuine error, he has realised he can save himself quite a lot of money by bringing it out each time he goes somewhere and then taking it away again.
This is a lovable man, but very anxious and paranoid. How can we most tactfully inform him that he risks acquiring an even worse reputation for sponging than he had before?
— E.B., London W14
A. Invite him to stay again. Say, ‘Please don’t bring any real champagne. On thinking about it we would much prefer the dummy bottle you bought by mistake last time. We realise we could have such fun with it.’ By forcing the forfeit, you will remove the temptation for him to repeat offend.
Q. Recently a work colleague of my husband had two spare tickets for a play in London’s West End. He gave one to a friend and the other to my husband, saying he could pass it on if he couldn’t use it himself.
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