Q. I have an aversion to shaking hands. How should I avoid this, without giving offence? My doctor informs me that more germs are passed by hand than by kissing. At my club no one shakes hands, unless they are being introduced to someone for the first time. However, even that I find trying. I just don’t like touching someone else’s hands. What should I do?
I.S., London SE11
A. Why not make a point of cultivating the Social Hug? Extend your arms right out like a semaphore operator and close in on the friend or new acquaintance. Then rest your hands on their back. In this way you will not come into contact with any fleshy parts while still giving the appearance of having made an enthusiastic greeting. Hugging is a widely enjoyed unclammy experience. Indeed the late Jennifer Paterson even went so far as to say, ‘Sex is only an excuse for hugging.’
Q. Concerning your Brian Eno problem (17/24 December). After a Britten/Pears concert at the Wigmore Hall in the 1960s I heard Benjamin Britten respond to the question of what he was working on with the words ‘same notes, different order’. Perhaps Mr Eno could adapt?
A.M.P., London WC2
A. Thank you so much for this enjoyable nugget. I must say that Mr Eno has already communicated the results of his trial of my tip, saying, ‘I just wanted to say how wonderful your solution to my dilemma has proved to be. I’ve already had a couple of occasions to use it and it has worked very well. It does have one little drawback, however — if you ask someone for advice and they give it to you, they then have an inexhaustible excuse for collaring you on all future occasions: “Sanded any more doors lately? How did you get on?” But the truth is I’d far sooner talk about doors — or indeed nematode worms, distant galaxies, mountain bikes, civic lighting, magnets, borscht and suntans — than “my career”, so it’s still a success.’
Q. Growing your own organic vegetables has become very competitive here in the Vale of Pewsey. The place is awash with city money and many of these new country squires can afford full-time gardeners, which puts those like me who cannot afford help at a disadvantage. One neighbour even exclusively grows dwarf vegetables — beetroots, carrots, radishes etcetera, which can be eaten by the mouthful. What can a single-handed gardener do to compete, Mary?
Name and address withheld
A. The chances are that very few of your neighbours will have come across the organic seed catalogue Seeds of Kokopelli, a ‘planetary collection’ of heirloom and endangered varieties of vegetables. You can buy, for example, seeds for black tomatoes, blue kohlrabi, white carrots and winter squashes. This will guarantee you a quite substantial level of one-upmanship. The website is www.kokopelli.asso.fr. Chris Baur at Ripple Farm, Crundale, Canterbury, Kent on 01227 731815 will be able to give further details. Or email kokopelli@organicseedsonline.com
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