Q. We have been invited to stay with a generous friend in Greece. Now we hear from other (slightly closer) friends that they will be staying very nearby. They have been emailing to say that the two house parties must get together. We know the last thing our host will want is to see some other people he knows from London. Even though he quite likes them, he won’t want to make the mental effort as this is to be a laidback holiday. We just want to blob and eat junk food, while the other lot are healthy and sporty. Also they are quite nosy and will want to see his house, but he is very private. I haven’t told our host because we don’t want to put him in the position of having to say he doesn’t want to go to the others’ house (which he won’t, as it will presuppose a return match) and nor does he want them to come to him. It seems very unfriendly not to see our other friends, though. We would feel shifty if we slipped out to see them, and it would make our host look unfriendly. How should we tackle this, Mary?
— Name and address withheld
A. Don’t overexplain. Just tell the rival house party that you think the etiquette is for them to go directly to your host and suggest you meet up at a picnic on the beach for which you all self-cater. This would seem much less threatening and open-ended.
Q. I have no idea how to tell a girl at my school that I like her in a romantic way. We see each other after school sometimes because I go to her house and she comes to mine.
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