Q. I wonder what is the correct etiquette when one notices that a friend has something unattractive and highly visible in their nostril? I have a bit of a phobia about this. Obviously, one can be straightforward if it is a close friend, but I am shortly taking a house in Trebetherick for the John Betjeman centenary celebrations, and we’ll be with a gang of people I don’t know very well. I have noticed that the problem is always much worse when people are in and out of the sea.
T.M., London W8
A. You are correct. Incompletely evacuated sea-water seems to promote the generation of veritable bouquets of nasal detritus. The best way to deal with this phobia is to carry a TweezerMate 12 times magnification pocket mirror, available from Boots for £12. Brandish the mirror openly while you make a personal inspection. ‘Just doing Nostril Watch’, you can laugh good-naturedly. ‘Have you noticed how much stuff gets collected there on a beach holiday? Anyone else?’ You will find your housemates only too keen to join in the vigilance and shortly the inquiry ‘Can I do Nostril Watch?’ will become something of a catchphrase.
Q. My family is devoted to our housekeeper, and she to us. She has just given me a huge refuse sack of second-hand clothes from her own child who is two years older than our twins. Sadly, there is not one thing in the whole collection that my image-conscious twins would consider wearing. My housekeeper lives out, but is with us five days a week. What can I do?
Name and address withheld
A. If you have a second home, announce that you are taking the collection there so you need not pack anything for the girls each time you go there.
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