Q. A close, though fairly new, friend of mine is an influential art critic. I suppose it is only natural that other friends should now be always asking me for his home address or to bring him along to their exhibition or to the exhibitions of their children. The problem is that they then send invitations which inevitably arrive with a mention of my name and so, even when the work is clearly bad, my friend feels he must attend the shows as a favour to me. I do not want to have all my own favours, as it were, used up on other people. Nor do I want to waste my friend’s time, but without being with him when he opens the invitations I can hardly reverse the endorsements. How can I stem this tide without seeming as though I am blocking people’s careers? And how do I avoid giving out his address when friends ask?
Name and address withheld
A. Critics are well used to receiving suspect endorsements but you should still give your friend carte blanche to ignore those which come in your name unless you have contacted him directly. If people ask for his home address simply tell the truth: it is much better to direct everything to his office as all other mail goes there and their show may otherwise be overlooked when he is marshalling his schedule. Add, ‘I haven’t even made a note of his home address because I know the office is the only place where his mail gets proper attention.’
Q. I am a smoker. Increasingly I have noticed that non-smokers are joining in with standing outside the parties in the street because, as you will know Mary, the most fun people are there.
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