Q. A talented young man helps me out as an intern. Sadly I can’t personally offer him full-time work but I have a close friend who will be recruiting shortly. This man tells me he will be looking for young people who are bilingual and super-bright — but that he prefers school leavers to graduates as he wants to ‘mould’ them. The work he is offering is interesting, but although my intern is bilingual and superbright, he is a 24-year-old graduate and, quite rightly, self-confident and fully aware of his own worth. Should I tell my intern to pretend to be humble and mouldable? Or should I let him emanate his usual brio? I don’t want to deceive my older friend, but if this new control freakery of his could cause him to miss out on a star find, would deceit be excusable?
— S.W., London SW4
A. Don’t even mention work. Just throw them together by having a small drinks party or dinner — with the intern helping out. Instinct enables speed-daters to tell within minutes if there is chemistry there. By the same token your friend will be able to answer spontaneously when you casually ask him the next day whether there is any point in your boy coming to him for an interview. In this way you can sidestep disappointment or guilt while only you will even know there was potential for such.
Q. My grandson, who is at Bedales, gave me a Christmas present of a good quality canvas bag; strong, square cut and with lovely padded handles which go comfortably over your shoulders. However, printed in big green letters on the side is the legend ‘BEDALES SUPPORTING SWAZILAND’. I love this bag but, when I am in somewhere like Peter Jones, invariably someone will come along and say ‘Bedales! Jolly good school!’ How can I deflect this sort of uncalled-for camaraderie from other members of the privileged class?
— A.C., London W8
A. This is a non-problem. You are clearly trying to get double the mileage out of the status this bag confers by pretending to object to it. I happen to know that you have other grandchildren who are not at Bedales so why not nip along to your local Kall-Kwik printing shop and have a secondary message printed onto the bag, announcing ‘MY OTHER GRANDSON IS AT HOLLAND PARK’.
Q. Every year I try to buy tickets for the Aldeburgh Literary Festival and every year they are sold out on the morning they go on sale. This year two close friends are on stage at the same time and my wife and I will be unable to enjoy their lecture despite having booked to stay in Aldeburgh for the weekend. How can we get around this?
— G.W., Pewsey, Wilts
A. Why not simply wear navy blue ‘sweatwear’ underneath fluorescent waistcoats and push past the doorkeepers holding torches? You should meet with no opposition.
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