Q. What should a host do when a guest says something so embarrassing in front of the assembled company that conversation grinds to a halt? Is there a way to pretend the gaffe never happened and jump-start the chatter? A dear friend (who drinks too much) recently regaled the dinner table with some excruciating information about her marriage. Everyone was struck dumb and I could not think how to break the conversational paralysis.
—Name and address withheld
A. The expression ‘But why bring this up now?’ can often stop a self-saboteur in her tracks. If the damage has been done, however, the host’s duty is to trump the indiscretion with something more sensational. For example: ‘Well, if I can offer an indiscretion of my own — I shouldn’t be talking about this but has anyone else here heard about the Manx referendum?’ Every guest will feel compelled to contradict you. There is no Manx referendum. Answer that it seems incredible but apparently Richard Branson wants to buy the island and they’re going to have a vote. Spin out the uproar by insisting that you’ve ‘had it on the highest authority’. Once they have been fully distracted from the gaffe and moved on to other topics it will be safe to climb down and admit you may have got it wrong.
Q. An old friend has begun to let a wing of his house where in the past I have often been a guest. The price is not advertised on his website. I would like to take the wing for a holiday but wouldn’t want my friend to feel pressed to offer me a whopping discount because of our friendship. Equally I may find out I can’t afford his going rate, discount or no discount.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in