Q. Is plate-swapping in restaurants now acceptable behaviour? When dining out, a not-so-young Dutch couple I know, both smart and rich, are in the habit of blithely exchanging plates midway through each course so that they may taste one another’s choice of food. However, in one fashionable restaurant recently, a handwritten note accompanied their bill which said ‘in this establishment, plate-swapping is not encouraged. In future please refrain from indulging in this practice.’ Was the indignation of the Dutch justified?
— T.D., Majorca
A. There is no legal reason why the two should not swap plates. Yet although the Dutch couple were paying for a service, by choosing to eat a restaurant they had also opted into a community of fellow diners and waiting staff and so had obligations to other members of that community. There is something disruptive about people swapping plates — especially between each course. It is unsettling for waiters whose reflexes are primed to facilitate and supervise all plate movements, and it is distracting for those at surrounding tables who cannot help being forced to think about the bodily fluid exchanges of the swappers. It is, in effect, an invasion of their privacy. In short the Dutch couple would do better to take their cue from professional foodies, who tackle this tasting challenge by levering discreet forkfuls off each other’s plates. This method is much less noisy and attention-seeking. Incidentally it is incorrect to convey foodstuffs directly from someone else’s plate into one’s own mouth. The forkful must first touch the plate of the fork-wielder before being inserted into the mouth.
Q. I gave my son, aged 16, a cool, smart Panama hat for his birthday. He likes it, but said the trouble with hats is that people snatch them from your head and, with a twirl, put them on their own heads. His sister, 25, has stopped wearing hats for the same reason. It is obviously a form of flirtation and I believe it stops once people get to around 30 but in the meantime, how can my son enjoy wearing his hat ?
— L.G., Fosbury, Wilts
A. The solution is for your son to say ‘Nits’ as the hand approaches. Should the hand belong to a girl in whom he is interested, he can qualify by saying ‘not really — I just said that so you won’t put me off you by snatching my hat, as that would be so boring.’
Q. How do you answer when people ask ‘are your jewels/ Hermès handbag, etc, real?’
— S.T., Wilts
A. Tongues will wag, so even when they are real it is sensible to answer ‘No. These are replicas of the ones in the bank.’ You will thereby avoid placing temptation in people’s path but still enjoy the status of owning the real thing.
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