Dear Mary | 9 July 2011

Q. Is plate-swapping in restaurants now acceptable behaviour? When dining out, a not-so-young Dutch couple I know, both smart and rich, are in the habit of blithely exchanging plates midway through each course so that they may taste one another’s choice of food. However, in one fashionable restaurant recently, a handwritten note accompanied their bill which said ‘in this establishment, plate-swapping is not encouraged. In future please refrain from indulging in this practice.’ Was the indignation of the Dutch justified?

— T.D., Majorca

A. There is no legal reason why the two should not swap plates. Yet although the Dutch couple were paying for a service, by choosing to eat a restaurant they had also opted into a community of fellow diners and waiting staff and so had obligations to other members of that community. There is something disruptive about people swapping plates — especially between each course. It is unsettling for waiters whose reflexes are primed to facilitate and supervise all plate movements, and it is distracting for those at surrounding tables who cannot help being forced to think about the bodily fluid exchanges of the swappers. It is, in effect, an invasion of their privacy. In short the Dutch couple would do better to take their cue from professional foodies, who tackle this tasting challenge by levering discreet forkfuls off each other’s plates. This method is much less noisy and attention-seeking. Incidentally it is incorrect to convey foodstuffs directly from someone else’s plate into one’s own mouth. The forkful must first touch the plate of the fork-wielder before being inserted into the mouth.

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