Q. A close friend of my own age, 52, has had various things done to her face and now looks different. She definitely looks younger than 52 – certainly when photographed – but in real life the effect is just weird. I feel I can’t properly communicate with her, i.e. ‘read’ her. I have said this to her but she clearly thinks I’m just envious because she’s offered to front the money for me to have the same treatment. We are at an impasse. How can I rescue this long-term friendship when I don’t enjoy interacting with a frozen face and dread seeing her?
– S.H., London W11
A. No need to fall out with this old friend. You can still have a laugh with her over the phone, on a walk or on a long drive.
Q. A business associate, who has been brought up in Canada, is coming to London next month. We get on very well over work and despite the fact that he is loudmouthed and has fairly crude personal habits, I enjoy his company when visiting him on business in Canada. For his forthcoming visit I have set up a couple of useful meetings for him as well as two dinners at my own home, as I want to return his hospitality. But unfortunately his main agenda is to have lunch at the private club of which I have just been made a member. He is paradoxically fascinated by English customs and traditions and, having watched Downton Abbey, is rather desperate to experience the lifestyles of its modern-day counterparts. I know it will be excruciatingly embarrassing as he will be so out of place there and I feel it will reflect badly on me, yet I cannot duck this. I will not feel comfortable introducing him to other members, which he will expect. Any suggestions?
– Name and address withheld
A. There’s no need to be anxious. Clubland is well accustomed to the occasional vulgarian and it will be assumed by other members that he is a business contact and not representative of your preferred friendship group. Get a good friend to join you. This will remove the obligation to introduce your visitor to others in the club so you can minimise his impact. Just make sure he is properly dressed and try to treat him like an honoured guest.
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers going to London for Christmas? It is still possible to buy a paper mini-map of central London which takes up about a third of the space of a mobile phone. More to the point, unlike your mobile phone, you can actually bring it out and look at it on the move, as no thief on a bike will be interested in snatching it. They cost about £1.95.
– C.A., Orpington
A. Thank you for this useful tip.
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