Dear Mary: does eating meat count as a dietary requirement? 

Q. My friend and I are being driven mad by a woman at our church who, after Mass, buttonholes us in the car park and goes on about a small airfield she is in a dispute with. In church she appears devout but I can’t help noticing she never asks how we are. I once stood for 30 minutes outside Aldi while she told me about the deaths of her parents in Covid lockdowns. Naturally I was sympathetic but a couple who had let me go ahead to pay as I had only three items must have been surprised I was still there. How can we avoid her without being rude?

– E.S., Sussex

A. Smile benignly as you confide in the woman that, due to hearing aid issues, you cannot hear a word she is saying, but thankfully your friend is going to escort you straight home.

Q. We have been invited to dinner by some friends who are vegetarian. This has got us a bit worried because, as non-vegetarians, we always enjoy a slice of meat. Since vegetarians usually make a point of signalling their ‘dietary requirements’, is it appropriate for us to do the same to them? I fear this is not a symmetrical situation, but I would welcome your advice.

– North Londoner

A. Let them have their hypocrisy. Surely the gastronomic experience is secondary to the pleasure of the company? Moreover, these days vegetarian food is much improved and often Ottolenghi-inspired. Gush with enthusiasm while consuming it and set your curiosity at rest by asking innocently: ‘Do any of your guests ever say, “I’m a carnivore. Do you mind cooking meat for me?”’ Blink blandly while they reply.

Q. I recently took part in a silent auction for a village charity. One of the prizes was a £100 voucher from a local gastropub.