Dear Mary, from Richard Madeley: How do I stop people mistaking me for Nigel Havers?

From Julian Fellowes

Q. Whenever anyone asks me how to get a project off the ground, I say that getting a film made is pretty hard. So often the response is: ‘But you did it!’ The argument is a tough one to refute, as the implication is that clearly I myself am not possessed of any ability or talent, and so I back away, apologetic and, to be honest, slightly humiliated. What would you suggest?

A. Englishmen like yourself have been bred to be self-deprecating – but there’s no need to overdo it. You might reply: ‘Yes, you’re quite right – even I managed it. And if you keep on persevering you’ll find that… [theatrical pause] eventually water finds its own level.’ Then say nothing while they ponder on your words.

From Julia Hartley-Brewer

Q. Some people have bad hair days, but I have a bad hair life. This wasn’t really a problem for the many years I worked as a radio presenter. Indeed, the bulky headphones were something of a boon. Occasional telly appearances always prompted the usual comments about me not having the thick locks apparently required for the public. But now I host a TV show every morning, more people than ever are getting cross about my hair. Short of wearing a wig, I’m not sure what I can do about it. Can you offer any suggestions?

A. The trick to enjoying a public profile is to let your ‘people’ manage your social media. Never look yourself. Treating the two imposters just the same is a better way of sustaining morale. However, as a professional commentator, Julia, you do need to engage with online debate. Put in place a filtering system which diverts the ad feminem comments. A self-identifying intern can courteously acknowledge these. In this way you can frustrate your would-be underminers.