Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can I get my cleaner to stop complaining?

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issue 15 January 2022

Q. My cleaner is industrious and trustworthy but she doesn’t have many people to talk to and evidently looks forward to her shifts as social occasions. She loves having a captive audience (my brother and I are currently WFH) and her conversation consists mainly of complaints, so it’s never a fun chat. It’s generally a bit of a downer and lending a sympathetic ear is becoming rather exhausting. I always end up going for a walk during her shift, even though it doesn’t suit me. It has taken me so long to find a half-decent cleaner that I don’t want to let her go. Mary, what should I do?

— R.W., London SW7

A. Turn your cleaner’s presence to your advantage. Knowing she will pounce if you have a lapse of concentration should help you keep your noses to the grindstone. Meanwhile, it would be humane to hear her out for at least some of her shift. Take it in turns to give her your full attention for one ten-minute block, listening properly throughout, then jumping in response to a reminder alarm you have set on your telephone. Explain that you must go back to work as you have to tackle something urgently. If she hovers, suggest you talk again in an hour.

Q. At the end of our driveway is a narrow lane and a small adjacent patch of land that belongs to our family. This patch of land has been kept in impeccable condition for the past 20 years; however, our new neighbours insist on driving their large 4×4 across it when they enter and depart from their driveway. As a result, this once pristine patch of land now resembles something of a swamp.

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