Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can we set up our single friends in lockdown?


Q. My husband and I have two single friends who we believe should be introduced. In days gone by, we would have held a dinner or drinks party in order to do so. But with all the lockdowns, it is proving hard to get them in the same room. To make matters more difficult, they are both conscientious types and have moved to their respective family homes in the countryside to offer support to their parents. How should we introduce them? A Zoom call seems so unromantic.
— Name and address withheld

A. Much better to ambush the couple by inviting them to attend Zoom drinks to celebrate some confected achievement of your own — e.g. ‘I’ve finally done my tax return.’ By directing the focus of attention on to your own mini-triumph, neither singleton will feel self-conscious or that their attractiveness is being judged, yet they can quietly observe each other. If you sense it went well, the next step is to start a Zoom book club with them as members, so they can get to know each other at a leisurely pace, blissfully free from any embarrassing pressure to make physical bids for intimacy. Of course the chemistry may not work when they eventually meet in real life, but if it does, they will be eternally grateful to you that the groundwork was achieved
almost without their noticing it.

Q. My boyfriend is in lockdown with me. I adore him but didn’t realise, until he moved in, that he has an off-putting physical habit. This is to repeatedly attempt to clear his throat, as though he is trying to cough something up. Whenever I mention that I don’t like it, he smiles broadly and chuckles as though I am congratulating him.

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