Q. A Belgian couple (a baron and baroness, no less) are regular visitors to the Highlands and I have come to regard them as friends. We always visit good restaurants and go Dutch on the bills. Recently, however, they have taken to bringing over two young men who are a couple and neither of them so much as ‘taks their hand across their pockets’, as we say here. As an Aberdonian this grieves me greatly, as my share of the bill has escalated, and I have consequently taken to shying away from meeting my Belgian friends. Mary, how can I resolve this without causing offence?
– M.R., Aberdeen
A. Highlight the injustice by using your local knowledge to conspire in advance with the next restaurant. Arrange that individual bills are issued as though it is their norm. Act surprised when these land but swiftly proffer your own card. The young men will be forced to hand their bills to the Belgians while you shake your head in feigned confusion.
Q. A long time ago I provided a cake for a friend’s party and took along a rather nice bone-handled silver knife to serve it with. After the party the plate was returned but the knife was nowhere to be seen. Having asked after it a couple of times, I gave it up as lost. Helping tidy up at the same friend’s house yesterday, I spotted the beautiful old thing tucked away in the silverware drawer. It appears to have entered her collection. How should I proceed?
– Name and address withheld
A. It was a bit wet of you not to react spontaneously, e.g.
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