Q. A decade ago I commissioned a handmade velvet opera coat from a fabulous local designer. She was then struggling (although is now highly sought after) so I sent quite a few customers her way. She made for each of them a bespoke coat, like mine, but each had its own individual distinctive lining. I was vaguely aware I hadn’t seen my coat for a while but this week, at a fundraiser, I saw it being worn. I rushed across to my neighbour and said words to the effect of: ‘Oh thank goodness you’ve got my coat. Now I remember I left it at your house when we came to dinner. You must have muddled it with yours!’ She looked furious and said it was definitely her coat, the one she had commissioned. I could tell by the lining that it was mine. I have contacted the designer and she has confirmed from her records that my coat had that lining. My neighbour has obviously lost her own coat and convinced herself that mine is hers. Mary, how can we move forward?
– F.W.W., London W11
A. Suggest the designer request to borrow the coat from this woman, her early model, saying she needs to photograph it for a rumoured retrospective at the V&A. When the offender chases for the return of ‘her’ coat, the designer can say: ‘Oh, I’m sorry. My intern sent it back to F.W.W. as our records show it was she who had commissioned the one with that lining.’
Q. I spent a few hours recently with a salesman at a bathroom shop. He was patient and professional and we eventually agreed on his imaginative solution for an awkward space. He was good-looking in an understated, geeky way, and I think he found me attractive. How can I find out if he is single? He’s not on social media. It’s a small town but we would have no overlapping friends.
– W.F., address withheld
A. Conscript an older ally to go to the shop and muse over some ornate tapware. She could then ask the salesman: ‘I expect these would be difficult to clean. What taps has your wife chosen?’
Q. This summer my husband and I took a house in the Hamptons for the second time and one of our son’s friends, in his twenties, was invited to join us again. Last year he sent us the most effusive thank-you letter and a case of wine. This year, silence. How can we can find out if we’ve done something to offend – or if the letter is lost in transit?
– A.H., London SW3
A. Get your son to text him asking if he by any chance sent a parcel as your doorbell security shows one being stolen from your doorstep and you are trying to identify the sender.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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