Q. My mother is still mentally and physically sprightly at the age of 87. She is perfectly capable of living alone – indeed she has done so for the past 20 years. The problem is that she is still highly social but most of the London friends of her own vintage, some of whom lived in the same historic apartment complex in Piccadilly, have died. Any ideas as to how she could make new friends?
– G.F., Bruton, Somerset
A. Perhaps she could take a tip from another highly social widow, who has just died aged 97, but who was a keen attender of memorial services, having no qualms about turning up at those of people she had never met but who had well-known names.
To the same end your mother might enjoy scouring the Court & Social pages of the Times and Telegraph. She is perfectly positioned, geographically, to turn up at St George’s Hanover Street, the Guards’ Chapel and St James’s Piccadilly. If pressed at the ‘after party’ on her link to the deceased, she can openly admit it was tenuous. Most organisers will be delighted by the presence of anyone who swells the numbers. She may well run into forgotten acquaintances and will at least have the sensation of still being in the swim of things.
Q. I’m living in Brussels and paying what I think is an extortionate rent for a room in a flat. My bills are included but the owners, who use the flat only a few times a month themselves, always turn the heating right down when they leave and I feel uncomfortable turning it up again. I now have a high-maintenance girlfriend who feels the cold – unlike my landlords. What should I do, Mary?
– H.R., Brussels
A. Next time you know they are coming, turn the heating completely off the day before and stay at your girlfriend’s house. Nip back to the flat just before they arrive and turn it back to the level they switched it to when they last visited. In this way they will get a reality dose of how chilly the flat can be.
Q. We recently moved to a small village. My wife took a silly Polaroid of me naked (I’m 59) on holiday last year and for some reason it got shoved inside a cookery book. Yesterday our daily asked if she could borrow a book from the kitchen and without thinking my wife said yes, and now she realises it was the naked cookbook. I don’t want her to think we are perverted, because we aren’t, but I’m not sure whether to say something or let it pass.
– Name and address withheld
A. Your wife should drive immediately to the daily’s house and ask if she can have the book back for a moment. She can explain that you struggle with your weight so she keeps an unflattering photo of you in the kitchen to curb your appetite.
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